Difference in the sensation of emotions
Saturation of the senses work too in terms of emotions making autistic individuals to go to extremes, as Janae Elisabeth, autistic neurodiversity advocate says “Happy is elated. Sad is distraught. Grief is the end of the world. Light, sound, touch, taste, and smell have an emotional effect on us.” Due to the connexion between emotions with the body is so intense it’s important to understand that to self soothe themselves they stim, so it is imperative to don’t attempt to stop them, “Motion is essential to our emotional processing and helps us express our feelings. We stim: tap, dance, flap, bounce, spin, rock, and wiggle, in order to stay in touch with our Inner Selves and our intense emotional world.”
Meltdowns and Shut Downs
As I said in a previous post, when this happen they are in an overwhelming state triggered by sensory processing disorder and cognitive issues, being an impossibility for them to self-regulate, that is why the meltdown act as a natural release valve. When that is not possible a shut down may occur “When everything is too much, we may appear to daydream, stare blankly, or avoid social interaction — not because we don’t want interaction, but because our body has reached its input limit” (Janae Elisabeth)
It is important to always remember that being autistic is hand-in-hand with feeling intensely. If you need more information or practical advice visit my previous post: Meltdowns, Aggressive and Self-harm Behaviors: Guide to Calm the Crisis
It is important to always remember that being autistic is hand-in-hand with feeling intensely. If you need more information or practical advice visit my previous post: Meltdowns, Aggressive and Self-harm Behaviors: Guide to Calm the Crisis
Be careful with your expression and body language
Since neurotypicals tend to rely in social cues, autistics fix their attention to facial expression, that is why it is so important to be congruent with our expressions and to be very careful in how we express ourselves near neurodivergent people.
This remind me when I was supporting potty training, the first thing I noticed was the parent’s facial expression when the child failed in his attempt to reach the washroom, they looked angry and their tone of voice immediately changed even though they weren’t scolding him. At the next day in our therapy session, when he felt the necessity of pooing, I noticed his expression of confusion and fear he seems paralysed and said in a very soft and fearful voice “oh, oh…”, meaning that his experience of going to the washroom was marked with emotions of shame and anxiety. I talked to the parents recommending them to be careful with their expressions when teaching him new abilities, specially when the child is trying to make sense of the situation. Not much longer after that conversation the child started to go alone to the washroom at home, and he even started to ask permission when he wanted to use it at school.
This remind me when I was supporting potty training, the first thing I noticed was the parent’s facial expression when the child failed in his attempt to reach the washroom, they looked angry and their tone of voice immediately changed even though they weren’t scolding him. At the next day in our therapy session, when he felt the necessity of pooing, I noticed his expression of confusion and fear he seems paralysed and said in a very soft and fearful voice “oh, oh…”, meaning that his experience of going to the washroom was marked with emotions of shame and anxiety. I talked to the parents recommending them to be careful with their expressions when teaching him new abilities, specially when the child is trying to make sense of the situation. Not much longer after that conversation the child started to go alone to the washroom at home, and he even started to ask permission when he wanted to use it at school.
Behaviour is communication
For neurotypicals the spoken language is a priority, and as therapist when we encounter individuals that does not use this way of communicating we tend to focus our attention on fix that, viewing this lack of language as a deficit. This is a mistake; we need to observe and try to understand how them are trying to communicate with us through their bodies. As Janae Elisabeth says, “Words are a big deal to us. They’re emotional, mental, and physical work. Many of us learn to conserve our energy by reducing the amount of time we spend speaking. This is one of the ways we adapt to our intense world.”
I still remember one of my clients whom when he wanted a rest, he cleaned up all the classroom. At first his teachers thought he was just a very organized child and they did not react to his attempt to communication, causing recurrent meltdowns. When I gave my thoughts of the situation, I explain them that he was communicating with them through his movement in a kinesthetic way with the purpose to go outside or just have some rest. His behaviour on the classroom changed greatly after that, the meltdowns decreased and he started to make a better and affectionate connection with them.
We need to remember that for some neurodivergent individuals, words are work, that means that it is better to avoid metaphorical expressions and just say what we mean and mean what we say.
To a better understanding of this topic I recommend Mona Delahooke’s book called “Beyond Behaviours” and “Uniquely Human” by Barry Prizant.
I still remember one of my clients whom when he wanted a rest, he cleaned up all the classroom. At first his teachers thought he was just a very organized child and they did not react to his attempt to communication, causing recurrent meltdowns. When I gave my thoughts of the situation, I explain them that he was communicating with them through his movement in a kinesthetic way with the purpose to go outside or just have some rest. His behaviour on the classroom changed greatly after that, the meltdowns decreased and he started to make a better and affectionate connection with them.
We need to remember that for some neurodivergent individuals, words are work, that means that it is better to avoid metaphorical expressions and just say what we mean and mean what we say.
To a better understanding of this topic I recommend Mona Delahooke’s book called “Beyond Behaviours” and “Uniquely Human” by Barry Prizant.
Atypical social engagement
When reading blogs or opinions of neurodivergent individuals I quickly started to understand that ourselves seems to be the ones that lack of awareness or understanding of other neurodivergent people’s thoughts and feelings when forcing them to act as a neurotypical person, ignoring the differences between our biological mechanisms, and even ourselves are who have poor communication skills with them, so it is correct to assume that the lack of understanding go both directions.
Double empathy problem and the lack of theory of mind myth
One of the theories that surround the autism spectrum disorder is that those individuals lack of something called “Theory of mind”, meaning that they are not able to inferring other’s mental states lacking of something called “intersubjectivity”, being unable to reach an “empathic relationship”.
When we are building a relationship, we share information to create understanding, this is called “intersubjectivity” and it “covers the variety of ways of socially relating to another. For example, it could take place across minds through language and bodies through action” (Heasman and Gillespie, 2018), nevertheless this is not the same as coordination, even if the shared information is not reciprocated or acknowledged by others it represent a moment of intersubjectivity. What actually happens when an autistic and a neurotypical individuals interact is a failure to coordinate.
Milton attributes this relational problem to both people experience it, eliminating the assumption that this is a singular problem located in any one person, that means that this “empathy” problem basically is a “two-way street”. What is actually sustaining the “lack of theory of mind” myth is the power relationship that neurotypicals have with autistic individuals, because we have to admit that this is a neurotypical-centric world, and neurotypicals locate the problem of empathy on autistic persons omitting that they are as well lacking insight about autistic perceptions and culture, assuming a neurotypical definition of being social.
When we are building a relationship, we share information to create understanding, this is called “intersubjectivity” and it “covers the variety of ways of socially relating to another. For example, it could take place across minds through language and bodies through action” (Heasman and Gillespie, 2018), nevertheless this is not the same as coordination, even if the shared information is not reciprocated or acknowledged by others it represent a moment of intersubjectivity. What actually happens when an autistic and a neurotypical individuals interact is a failure to coordinate.
Milton attributes this relational problem to both people experience it, eliminating the assumption that this is a singular problem located in any one person, that means that this “empathy” problem basically is a “two-way street”. What is actually sustaining the “lack of theory of mind” myth is the power relationship that neurotypicals have with autistic individuals, because we have to admit that this is a neurotypical-centric world, and neurotypicals locate the problem of empathy on autistic persons omitting that they are as well lacking insight about autistic perceptions and culture, assuming a neurotypical definition of being social.
Autistic Identity
“If I didn’t have Asperger’s, I would be stuck in the social game that everyone else seems to be so infatuated with. I see the world in a different way, with a different perspective.” (Greta Thunberg)
Janae Elisabeth describe us some essential clues to understand the autistic identity as she says, “We value achievement, success, and hard work by internal metrics and less by external rewards. Fame, competition, and material wealth don’t impress us (…)We prefer to measure success in terms of autonomy, justice, connection, and truth(…) We are suspicious of incongruence or posturing, and we bluntly tell the truth as we see it. Truth is so valuable that we will even risk relationship for it.”
As a professional I firmly believe that we need to abandon the approach that we are currently having of “autism correction” as if them were sort of “broken neurotypicals”. We are all different, and we all deserve to being respect and heard, we need to focus on supporting them, giving them a voice to express their opinions and desires when encounter challenges in this ableist world, giving them options that consider their subjectivity and over all their dignity.
And for all the autistic individual that will read this post, as Dr Erin Bullus, autistic clinical psychologist says, it is important to choose to be authentically autistic making space for stimming accepting yourself and “getting to know the way your body likes to move. Spend time in nature. Spend time in the garden. Spend time with animals. Do the things that really fulfil you as an Autistic person rather than trying to mould yourself into someone that you’re not.”
Milton, D. (2012) On the Ontological Status of Autism: the “Double Empathy Problem”. University of Birmingham.
Heasman & Gillespie (2019) Neurodivergent intersubjectivity: Distinctive features of how autistic people create shared understanding. Autism.
Janae Elisabeth describe us some essential clues to understand the autistic identity as she says, “We value achievement, success, and hard work by internal metrics and less by external rewards. Fame, competition, and material wealth don’t impress us (…)We prefer to measure success in terms of autonomy, justice, connection, and truth(…) We are suspicious of incongruence or posturing, and we bluntly tell the truth as we see it. Truth is so valuable that we will even risk relationship for it.”
As a professional I firmly believe that we need to abandon the approach that we are currently having of “autism correction” as if them were sort of “broken neurotypicals”. We are all different, and we all deserve to being respect and heard, we need to focus on supporting them, giving them a voice to express their opinions and desires when encounter challenges in this ableist world, giving them options that consider their subjectivity and over all their dignity.
And for all the autistic individual that will read this post, as Dr Erin Bullus, autistic clinical psychologist says, it is important to choose to be authentically autistic making space for stimming accepting yourself and “getting to know the way your body likes to move. Spend time in nature. Spend time in the garden. Spend time with animals. Do the things that really fulfil you as an Autistic person rather than trying to mould yourself into someone that you’re not.”
References
Check out Janae Elisabeth's blog (autistic researcher and neurodiversity advocate) Lost in Translation: The Social Language Theory of NeurodivergenceMilton, D. (2012) On the Ontological Status of Autism: the “Double Empathy Problem”. University of Birmingham.
Heasman & Gillespie (2019) Neurodivergent intersubjectivity: Distinctive features of how autistic people create shared understanding. Autism.
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